Episode 113
· 56:38
What's up? I'm Ron Rapatalo, and this is the Ronderings podcast. Around here, I sit down with guests for real, unpolished conversations about the lessons and values that shaped them. And I'll be right there with you, sharing my own take, laughing at myself when I need to, and wondering out loud about this messy thing called life. Glad you pulled up a chair.
Ron Rapatalo:Let's get into it. Welcome back to Ronderings. I'm your host, Ron Rapatalo. And every week, we sit down with leaders, changemakers, and everyday people whose stories, challenges, think a little deeper about leadership, legacy, and what it means to live with purpose. Today's guest is Lanira Murfy, a network academic leader, community advocate, former California state assembly candidate, and someone who brings an incredible combination of joy, authenticity, and conviction to everything she does.
Ron Rapatalo:In this Ronderings conversation, we explore how her mother's experience during school desegregation shaped generations of her family, mentors who opened doors she didn't even know existed, why she walked away from politics to pursue education, what it means to lead as your full self in spaces that often expect something different. We talk about the power of storytelling, importance of developing black educational leaders, why embracing your own power, maybe one of the most important leadership lessons of all. Grab your coffee, take a walk, and settle into your favorite chair. Peace. Ronderings universe.
Ron Rapatalo:You know, there are times I I meet guests on the fly like I did very recently at ASU + GSV. We had an amazing conversation. I was like, you need to be in Ronderings, and shout out to our homeboy, David Nungaray, who's like, Lanira needs to be on Ronderings. I was like, you know, David tells me to have Lanira on Ronderings. Who am I to say no?
Ron Rapatalo:So on the mic today is Lanira Murfy. Lanira, how are doing today?
Lanira Murphy:I'm doing great. How are you?
Ron Rapatalo:You know, you're seeing me wear my Knicks hat because at the time of this recording, the Knicks have not yet played in the NBA finals, but they play in the NBA finals on Wednesday. So, admittedly, by the time this gets published, hopefully, I will be singing, we are the champions, my friends. And here's I isn't this bad? I am Filipino. I don't even know the fucking that's bad.
Ron Rapatalo:That's because I don't often memorize the the the screens in front of me. I could read the words.
Lanira Murphy:Well, hopefully, when this is published, the hat will age well.
Ron Rapatalo:Hopefully. And then I'll be having championship gear because I'm see, I don't like to jinx. I don't ever wear anything that's, like, non winning the whole thing because I'm like, why would I wear something like, we made the playoffs. Yay. Yeah.
Ron Rapatalo:I'm one of those people. Like, I I'm not a big believer in the participation trophy. People are like, yeah. Did the competition. I did it.
Ron Rapatalo:I'm like
Lanira Murphy:Did you win?
Ron Rapatalo:I mean, like, look. It's not it's like, did you compete to the best of your ability? Right? I I will never throw shade on anybody who's completed the best of their ability, but I'm not one of those people who likes to compete. Unless it's something so extraordinarily hard that just even competing with it.
Ron Rapatalo:Like, I don't know. I did the 100 mile marathon. That is crazy. Yes. Participation trophies count there.
Ron Rapatalo:Oh, yeah. I did the Ironman, like, seven days in a row. Yes. That deserves a participation trophy. Everything else?
Ron Rapatalo:Nah. Don't play that. Anyway, so Lanira, let's get right into it. K. What is your story?
Lanira Murphy:Such a simple and complex question. My story, like all, start with those who came before me, and I will I will start with my mother. So my mother grew up in Shreveport, Louisiana. Oh, look at that. Okay.
Lanira Murphy:Yes. And one of the most powerful stories she has ever told me is that when she was in eleventh grade, her school was desegregated. And I like to tell people this story because we think that that happened ages, eons ago.
Ron Rapatalo:And I don't know, it
Lanira Murphy:was very recent. And what they meant by desegregation is closing all the black schools, firing all the black teachers of black leadership, something that we still haven't recovered from in education to this day, and sending all the black students to white schools where they were not welcomed and they were not being taught, and they had to deal with just like unimaginable barriers to finishing their education. And so, through that experience, my mother realized how important education was. She was like, I didn't really realize it before that, my parents were telling me. But she was like, wow, like, how important education is.
Lanira Murphy:And she really instilled in my brother and I that you have to get an education, you have to graduate.
Ron Rapatalo:Right.
Lanira Murphy:And so from there, that really instilled in me like a reverence for education and what it does for people and what it does for generations, and wanna make sure that every student has access to a high quality education. So from there, I graduated high school, which was a huge which was a huge win for our family. And then I went on to college.
Ron Rapatalo:Yeah.
Lanira Murphy:Which was another huge win. I was the first. And Okay. I realized I didn't know what college was.
Speaker 3:Like, I just thought it was people in libraries opening books and being all academic and like
Lanira Murphy:and I just realized it was this hidden world with all of these unspoken, unknown to me Yeah.
Speaker 3:Rules, processes,
Lanira Murphy:pathways. And I I I navigated it the best that I could
Ron Rapatalo:Yeah.
Lanira Murphy:With the knowledge that I had at that time. And I finished college and I applied for my master's degree because my teacher, Dr. Talent, I'll never forget her, was like, you need to go get a master's. And I said, what's a master's degree? Because I had no idea.
Lanira Murphy:Yeah. And she's like, I don't know. You know?
Ron Rapatalo:I can't during undergrad that had never been brought wow. That wow. Holy shit.
Lanira Murphy:I still got annoyed and she was and she sat down and And explained it to me and one thing that I had learned at that point was not to ask for help. I was, you know, trying to be independent and I didn't want to show that I didn't know the rules and I was trying to belong.
Ron Rapatalo:Right.
Lanira Murphy:And I remember that she, you know, I applied to one graduate program because in my like, that's what, you know, that was me trying. And I wasn't gonna ask her for a letter of recommendation. And another really important part of her story in my life, she was like, how dare you take away the opportunity for me to be able to recommend you for something? Always give people an opportunity to participate in your life. That's what people
Ron Rapatalo:are for. Wow. That is like, I wanna underscore that moment here. Allow people the opportunity to, like, be to to be Participate in your life. Participate Yeah.
Ron Rapatalo:Wow.
Lanira Murphy:And I was like, oh. She's like, yeah, that's what we're here for. You know, we're we're here to bump into each other and to learn lessons and to teach and to guide and make mistakes and like do the things. That's life. And if you're, like, bearing people off or you're not allowing people to engage with you and guide you and, like, have that light those life experiences with you, like, what's the point of being amongst people?
Lanira Murphy:And so that really hit deep. I was like, oh, wow. Like, yeah. That's yeah. Like, we would just all be, like, all along the little islands if we weren't meant to, like, have this type of
Ron Rapatalo:But when I think about this, right, I think so many of us as people of color, particularly my experience talking to not, to many black folks, right, is there's a mistrust of the systems and I think then related to that is a mistrust of people to a large degree because, hey, look at how these systems are created that have been designed to not allow us to succeed so we can only rely on ourselves. And then Mhmm. The reliance on self then becomes just truly you, not even other people, not even sometimes family. Right? It just it gets really first because I think I'm sure when we fast forward and hear the rest of your story, Lanira, we realize the power of how much our community or our people, right, allow us to be where we are without it.
Ron Rapatalo:You and I are not on this podcast. You and I did not meet at ASU + GSV. Yeah. Right? Yeah.
Ron Rapatalo:And drinking, you know, whatever we drink and eating really good Mexican tacos.
Lanira Murphy:Yes. It's a good day to go.
Ron Rapatalo:Which is a nice life. Let's be clear.
Lanira Murphy:It's a very
Ron Rapatalo:life in what was 70 degree weather and Kikia with all these Ed leaders and eating and drinking and, like, look at where we've come from.
Lanira Murphy:Yeah. Yeah. And you know, so I I went to I I went to get my master's degree and and part of the a huge also a part of my story that's interwoven through my life is the struggle that my mother has had with cancer. She's a fourth time cancer survivor. She's like one of the most extraordinary people
Ron Rapatalo:God that bless. Oh my gosh.
Lanira Murphy:She has third degree burns on a third of her body, injuries that she suffered when she was a young girl. And because she was living at the Deep South in that time, they wouldn't even treat her medically. They sent her home and told her that, and her mom that, you know, this is it. And she went home and my mother and my grandmother and my great grandmother took care of her and nursed her back to health because she wasn't allowed in the hospital to get appropriate medical care. Talking about not trusting the the system.
Ron Rapatalo:The system isn't going to allow you in to be taken care of, so why are you going to try?
Lanira Murphy:Yeah, yeah. And so my mother had breast cancer when I was in elementary school, when I was in high school, when I was in And one of the reasons why I didn't even know what a master's degree was, I feel it's because I was like, I was being a caretaker. I was being a caretaker. Was the first in my family to go to college. So it just wasn't even on my mind.
Lanira Murphy:And so in graduate school, I went there, I was like, I don't know what I'm doing here. I still had that, like, that self doubt that, like, not understanding who I was or what I was capable of. Mhmm. And so I just went there and I did the things, I was like, okay. And then I graduated, which my mother to this day is like one of the proudest days she says.
Lanira Murphy:Has my degree. I don't have it. She has it. Because it's so important Yeah. To And I was either when I went to graduate school, I was looking for like, what was next.
Lanira Murphy:I actually was interested in politics because I was like, oh, this is where the decisions are made. This is where all the laws are coming from that are treating people unfairly and, like, creating these systems that aren't helping, people like me. And I had worked on a couple of campaigns, and I realized I didn't want to have anything to do with politics anymore. I was like, oh, okay. I see why things are happening because these people aren't getting into this for the community.
Lanira Murphy:At least, unfortunately, the people I was working with Yeah. They were getting it for self promotion from Yeah. And not to, like, to do what's best. And and they felt afraid to to try to actually make actual change because it might affect their, you know, their political dreams down the road. I'm like, how how backwards is that?
Lanira Murphy:You're afraid to actually use the full force of the position that you have to do good because people might have a problem with that ten years down the road. Shouldn't it be the opposite way? I guess not. So from there, it was either Peace Corps or Teach For America because I wanted to serve, and I decided on Teach For America. And so
Ron Rapatalo:What was the tipping point for you to decide on Teach for America? What made you choose that versus the Peace Corps at that time?
Lanira Murphy:It was the educational piece.
Ron Rapatalo:I
Lanira Murphy:was like, Okay, this is my way to come full circle and give opportunity for students to have, access to a to a high quality education.
Ron Rapatalo:She started it after your master's degree. So you started, like, 2425 roughly.
Lanira Murphy:Yes. Yeah. So when I got there,
Ron Rapatalo:I was like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 4:I'm, like, the old person here because
Ron Rapatalo:it's not even old that relatively sweet if you think it's like a couple of years. Right. But still, it it makes enough of a difference when you're that age. Yeah.
Lanira Murphy:Yeah. Yeah. And it felt that way. And so I'm originally from North I've been born and raised in North Carolina. And so during that time, they had you like pick places that you wanted to go.
Lanira Murphy:And I picked everything on the East Coast and the South and they sent me to California. That's how
Ron Rapatalo:Wow. So I was about
Speaker 4:to, how did you get
Ron Rapatalo:to California? I'm like, oh, well that's thank you, the admissions team at Teach for of picking Caliv That's what the algorithm said.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Ron Rapatalo:Wow.
Lanira Murphy:So I got here to California and, in my in my shorter story, told people I, you know, I married a city boy and I'm stuck, so that's why I'm still in California.
Ron Rapatalo:Sometimes that's what we do. My miss is a Teach for America core member who moved to New York after doing her core in DC, and then fast forward a number of years later when she was in New York, we met on match.com and we are married and two kids, three kids on the way, third kid on the way, and homeowners, and you're stuck at the hip. That's what happens.
Lanira Murphy:Well, our compromise is that we will retire in North Carolina.
Ron Rapatalo:Ah, okay.
Lanira Murphy:That's how we like, I don't know if I could do the city life when, you know, I'm in my retirement age, so we'll go home, to my home when that happens. And yeah, so then I came here to Los Angeles and I've been working in education ever since. You know, I was in the classroom, I was a school site administrator, and now I'm at the network level. Okay. I'm leading academics and and all the things that are important to me along the way.
Lanira Murphy:I did dabble my toe into politics again because Oh.
Speaker 3:Oh gosh. Things are getting rough out here. I might need to get back into this.
Ron Rapatalo:LA's there's a lot going on in LA these days, especially the LAUSD to to name a couple of places. Yeah.
Lanira Murphy:Yes. Well, actually, I ran I ran for state assembly. I yeah. I got 60,000 votes, something I'm I'm still extremely proud of.
Ron Rapatalo:Congrats.
Lanira Murphy:And I was running against an incumbent. I didn't get the seat, but it taught me a lot. Yeah. And I created a lot of connections in the community. So then I was like the president of my neighborhood council for several years.
Lanira Murphy:I was treasurer for the budget advocates who looks at the city budget for several years, which that was informative and also quite
Ron Rapatalo:Yeah.
Lanira Murphy:Quite depressing also. And yeah, so I've just been in education. I'm really passionate about, yeah, making sure that students have access to high quality education. I'm really passionate about leaders of color, especially black leaders in education. Like I said, you know, they fired an entire we lost a generation of black educational leaders.
Ron Rapatalo:That's right. It is the huge I think, and still, I would think, not as talked about side of Brown v Board of Ed, right, is that it decimated a generation of black educators. Right? Because the system was not created for black educators all of a sudden because of Brown v Board of Ed to just integrate magically to white schools and everything is happily ever after. The focus Yeah.
Ron Rapatalo:In some ways, rightfully so, was on students, but folks forgot about the adults in that. Right. And I'm yeah, part of me wants to wonder, was it forgotten about or intentionally designed as such? Right. I can't help but think it's the latter rather than the former because, you know, I'm not of the belief that in the fifties, like everything's just going to work itself out.
Ron Rapatalo:Well, hot damn.
Speaker 4:They'll just
Ron Rapatalo:stop working here. We're all going to get along, right? Yeah. Damn. Look at the after
Speaker 4:school special.
Ron Rapatalo:I mean, you know, it makes me want to dig into the history because I had to think I've heard this theme again about Brown v Board of Ed for the, like, the last ten years. And then you think about all the things we're still dealing with right now around having educators of color, leaders of color. Right? And this does not matter what part of the racial diaspora that you're in. Black, brown, you know, indigenous, you know, Pacific Island.
Ron Rapatalo:It's the numbers are exceedingly low considering our population. Right? And so
Lanira Murphy:Yeah.
Ron Rapatalo:It just there's a lot of catching up to do Yes. To make that
Lanira Murphy:happen. And Yes. And and and I would say not even catching like just intentional, thoughtful, it it can't just be a oh by happenstance, this will come like no. Like it's going to we're going to need a plan. We're going to need to be really intentional about it.
Lanira Murphy:So that's why I try to do my part. Like, when I come across black black leaders and black educational leaders, I try to pour into them. I try to mentor them things that I didn't have when I was coming up. I always encourage them to be their authentic self. Like, you you need to lead as you.
Lanira Murphy:You do not need to mimic someone else. Yeah. You do not need to pretend or put on this leadership, which is typically, you know, a white male, like, stereotype they're trying to fit in. No. No.
Lanira Murphy:I need you. I need you to bring your history. I need you to bring everything that you have into your position. And so I really yeah. So I'm really passionate about that, and I and I like to to mentor and and help in any way that I can, black leaders in education in particular.
Lanira Murphy:And so, yeah, that's and and here we are.
Ron Rapatalo:So what does leading, like, authentic Lanira look like? We were to watch you lead right now where you work. What does that look like, sound like, feel like?
Lanira Murphy:That's a fantastic question. And something
Ron Rapatalo:like know. I'm the podcast. This is what
Lanira Murphy:I do. This is I do.
Ron Rapatalo:What I do.
Lanira Murphy:Me leading authentically as myself, I am happy. I'm upbeat. I'm very joyful. I think joy is the, like, the center of of how I how I
Ron Rapatalo:approach life. You have an infectious energy. I'm sure people have told you that because that was how I experienced you meeting you for the first time at ASU + GSV. You had a very infectious energy. Oh, that's Yeah.
Ron Rapatalo:About people because I've been told the same about me, apparently, even though I'm kinda quiet.
Lanira Murphy:Yeah. I don't even notice when you walk in a room. I oh my gosh. And so at ASG, I saw you, and I was like, I told you this. I was like, oh my gosh.
Lanira Murphy:Like, I'm fangirling over here.
Speaker 3:My goodness. He's here.
Lanira Murphy:He's Lanira my god. Goodness. Can feel your energy. I can feel your energy from across the room. Like, this is what they were talking about.
Lanira Murphy:So yes. No. I I completely understand.
Ron Rapatalo:That is
Lanira Murphy:very true. Thank you. So yeah. So me leading authentically as myself with joy. Yeah.
Lanira Murphy:I am a little quirky, and that's okay. So, you know, like, I bring my little quirks. Me being a leader, I try to show up as me as I am that day every day. Mhmm. That's really important to me.
Lanira Murphy:And I I work really hard to see people. I think the two things that most people are yearning for is to be seen and to feel like they're being successful. And so I try to see people through the day that they're having and make sure that they get that recognition.
Ron Rapatalo:Those are really very powerful leadership values to have, right? But I wanna get it one, because it it hit me in talking about being quirky. So I'm gonna say one of my quirks when I'm leading, right? And so people who have worked with me know this about me is like, I can't be serious probably for more than five minutes, especially when I'm comfortable with someone. I always have to crack a joke or say something to get people to laugh.
Ron Rapatalo:It's like, you know, when I'm because I there are modes where I'm like, I'm serious, Ronder. I'm like, in it, then all of a sudden, I say something funny and people work means like, here's Ron. He just cannot say so it's a quirk about me. I cannot. It's really hard for me, like, in immediate I have to crack something like to break the ice because I'm like, God, if I'm serious this whole time, my God, that would like make my brain explode.
Ron Rapatalo:It's I have to I just have to break the ice with with some regularity during conversations, like say something to like make someone laugh. I think I'm pretty good at making people laugh because I observe things and I say things that just come and they're like, how the hell did you think about that? I'm like, I have no damn idea. It's about ADHD. So what's one of Lanira's quirks that people have noticed about you?
Lanira Murphy:One of the things that I I get the most is play. I love play. I think
Speaker 3:adults don't play enough. Like, we're sitting in these PDs meetings and we're being
Lanira Murphy:all serious. And it was like, what? What
Speaker 4:are you
Lanira Murphy:doing to that? Like, as I have people
Ron Rapatalo:all of
Lanira Murphy:about literacy.
Speaker 4:No, not to not to
Ron Rapatalo:make fun of people like, Ron, you've been working K 12 ed so long. How do you this is a serious issue. I'm like,
Speaker 4:I fucking dunce. God, that would seem
Ron Rapatalo:what the hot damn. Like, anyway, I'm like, gonna be going to soapbox there, but keep going.
Lanira Murphy:But then I'm like, so, like so I had people tell me like, Lanira, you get us to do things that people can't usually get a group of adults to do. And I'm like, yeah. Because like, yes, it's extremely serious. What we're doing, making sure that kids get high quality education, extremely serious. And we have to play along the way.
Lanira Murphy:Like, we have to have joy in what we're doing. That's what keeps it I think that's why I'm not burned out yet. Like, I've seen so many people, amazing, incredibly high talented people who are gone. And I'm a kid and I think part of it I mean, there's many reasons why, but, like, there was just no play centered in, like, how we go about this work. So that's a quirk.
Lanira Murphy:So yeah. So, like, I'll have them, like, for warm ups. Yeah. Have do, like, karaoke, like, mashups and, like, things like that to try to
Ron Rapatalo:See, it would be I would love to, like, be in a PDU led. Right? Because those kinds of things, like, I can't when when it's not broken up and you're not able to, like, let out and express yourself, it just becomes so I remember ways that, like, I saw that happen in really good PDs I've been a part of, right? It's not just the usual, like, you know, ways of being able to reflect. Those are important too, right?
Ron Rapatalo:Into like codified learning.
Speaker 4:But it
Ron Rapatalo:was like having, you know, we had like twisty ties and things that we would play with, right? Like fidget toys. And I remember it was like, oh, this like because adults are just grown up kids. You have these PDs like sitting around being asked not to move and constantly it just Yeah. Oh my god.
Ron Rapatalo:It's it's like mind numbing.
Lanira Murphy:Yes. And it's like and we say that. We are like, oh, gosh. We don't want our kids to sit in. Like, we want them to have these dynamic learning environments.
Lanira Murphy:We want it and then we, you know, turn around and ask adults to do that. I mean, it's the crazy part it. Person.
Ron Rapatalo:I've seen enough PDs where like, that's the norm. It's just like being able to, like, express yourself or like even stand and like do things to like move around. Like I'm I think as I've gotten older, I, you know, in K through 12, Ron Rapatalo was and I can focus or I can get think it's the the hyper focused part of my ADHD. When I'm on and focused, I'm like laser, laser, laser on and focused. But once it breaks, oh, forget about it.
Ron Rapatalo:Then I'm gone. My mind is like in 70 different places. I'm playing video games in my head. I'm replaying sports games, song nineties R and Bs coming my I don't know, whatever is like coming to mind. Right.
Ron Rapatalo:And, know, it's it's one of the so what I wanted to bring up, these quirks to unite I have, I'm going to bring someone I've been following on Instagram whose book I've referenced a number of times and realizing I need to buy the book because it talks about the way it's called The Way of Excellence by Brad Stulberg. So I'm giving a free shout out because I think what he writes on Instagram and his book is is really impressive. I gotta read the book. But a lot of his content talks about how the greatest leaders, the greatest athletes, They combined intensity and what else? Joy.
Ron Rapatalo:Mhmm. Both. Right? You need both to sustain. Right?
Ron Rapatalo:The whole idea of like That I look like I'm constipated. I'm doing that. Who was it? Oh my oh. Oh, no.
Ron Rapatalo:I'm kidding. Jozz. Jokey. Jokey. I would not do that on the Ronderings podcast.
Ron Rapatalo:That would be edited out. And like, it it gives you this level of like, I, you know, when I feel like that, it's like in a video game media, it's like the Infinity Super Mario Brothers, like, thing hitting in you, right? You just feel so incredibly powerful when you feel joy. And so for me, it's just like, I think we've created these like, I I wanna speak particularly about K12et because I've talked about this in a number of Ronderings podcast episodes. We've created leadership to be about sacrifice and martyrdom.
Ron Rapatalo:Right? It's like, so it's it's so pure. So you know? Super because your shit is so fucking hard. I'm like, oh, god.
Ron Rapatalo:My shoulder hurt. God. You know? And it does that's not. But if you think about then the folks, I mean, that I rock with in k twelve education, they're some of the most joyous people that I know.
Ron Rapatalo:I can tell you. And they've been Ronderings podcast guests or future Ronderings podcast guests. Right? You know what saying? Like, these peep like and people are attracted to folks like that too.
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Ron Rapatalo:Right? And people want to follow people like that too.
Lanira Murphy:Yeah. And I will say that's something I've struggled with and and only recently, I would say, become very comfortable with is I was concerned and I have experienced people not taking me seriously because I'm a black woman and because I was joyous. I well, I'm not academic. I don't use the buzzwords and not like, you know, oh, she's in there playing in the PD. She's not the next, you know, like and I was like, you know what?
Lanira Murphy:No. This is who I am, and this is how I I this is how I lead.
Ron Rapatalo:And I I get results. You you wanna look look at the data? Wanna look at the wanna read the hand wanna read that? Here.
Lanira Murphy:Here. Here. Here. Someone else or, you know, Like, not can I mean, Here? Have you seen her?
Lanira Murphy:She's not
Ron Rapatalo:serious.
Lanira Murphy:Yeah. She's not, you know. And so I'm like, oh, I can't win.
Speaker 3:If I was super angry, I'm angry and black, but if I'm too joyful, I'm not serious enough. Which one is it? You know what? I don't care. I'm gonna be me today.
Ron Rapatalo:Yeah. I mean, but that's that's that's the moral of the story. Right? It's like, you know, I think when we are leading, particularly as leader of colors, and especially what I've seen particularly for black women, let's let's elevate that is you're not allowed to be anything other than what people say they want you to be, but not really. And then when you do that, that's not really so just like, well, fuck, what choice do I have?
Ron Rapatalo:Is You know, someone was like, shit, if I'm myself, at least I can go out the way that I wanna go out. Right? And in some ways, I think that then becomes the thing that like, it's not even about acceptance, but it's really about finding that level of fulfillment within self. Mhmm. Right?
Ron Rapatalo:Because I think without that, like, you can be all the things and be accomplished, but if you're not being authentic to who you are, it it it shows up in your body.
Lanira Murphy:Yeah. I've gotten to the point where, you know, it's not my it's not my job to and I'm not going to convince a person who has preconceived notions about what a black woman leader should be. I'm not gonna do that in my interaction with them. What I am gonna do is give them the opportunity to interact with someone like me. And that's all I can do.
Lanira Murphy:And maybe one day they look back and like, oh, wow, there was there was that one who was, you know but yeah, all I can do is give them an opportunity to to interact with Yeah. With who I am that day.
Ron Rapatalo:So where do you find your joy in your play outside of your K 12 ed leadership world?
Lanira Murphy:My mother. I as I referenced before, like, my mother just has had a lot of medical challenges her entire life, and every single day.
Ron Rapatalo:Yeah.
Lanira Murphy:She would get up with a smile on her face, and like, oh man, what are we do? We laughed. I one of my most vivid memories is me pushing her in a wheelchair, because because at that time she was weak going to chemotherapy, and we were just laughing our butts off. I don't remember what it was
Speaker 3:about just having a grand old time.
Lanira Murphy:And so, seeing my mother being able to send her joy going through just like some of the most difficult parts of her life has been inspiring. I think the other place is just people.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I get so much joy out of
Lanira Murphy:people living their life. Get joy out of people making mistakes. I get joy out of people doing what they love, figuring out what they want. I just yeah. I love like that teacher told me, I love interacting and engaging in people's lives and Yeah.
Lanira Murphy:And who
Ron Rapatalo:they are. I can see whoever's been blessed to be mentored by you, whoever's been blessed to be led by you, right? Because that level of like energy and just enjoying all of that means that you're embracing someone, like every part of that person. You don't love just their wins and their good parts. You love all of it.
Ron Rapatalo:Right? And I think that's that's really hard to to like Like, just learn. And I think the ex like being like learning from your mother's experience and how not only resilient, but joyful she was through the whole process, like, because one could argue, why would your mom have joy through all of that? And yet she didn't. Like, you are the continued manifestation of that, which I'm sure you're incredibly, like, aware of.
Ron Rapatalo:Mhmm. Right? Yeah. Like, that's such a that's like a gift to be told. You are like your mom.
Ron Rapatalo:When people tell me that I'm like my dad and like my mom, I'm like, that's really cool. I I am. I'm like, I'm as good looking as my my dad was like, My mom it's funny as oh my god. My mom would tell these stories about my dad. I was like, my dad has swag
Speaker 4:back in The Philippines.
Ron Rapatalo:Apparently, he was a lifeguard, which ironically, I can't swim at the, like, well at all. I was like, damn, my dad was a lifeguard. Damn it. My mom tells the story, like, you know,
Speaker 4:oh, your father, Ronald, he was a lifeguard in the Red Cross in The Philippines and all these women around him. And then we start dating. I tell him, if you want to keep dating me, you have to stop talking to all these other girls.
Ron Rapatalo:Apparently, my dad stopped because fast forward ended up married seven kids later and moving to America. You know what I'm saying? But I'm just like the way the like my mom would always tell the story, which I always think was a little tongue in cheek. She's like, you know, I was I looked like this, like, you know, I you know, compared to your dad who had such charisma. But, like, the thing I realized about my mom is it was her resilience.
Ron Rapatalo:And she just made things happen for my family. Right? Which I've always like, I have both sides of that from both of my parents. Like my dad's, his swag is what the younger kids would say is Riz. Right?
Ron Rapatalo:And then my mom's just like, see through the BS, just make shit happen. You know? Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah.
Ron Rapatalo:Something I wanted to ask you about, Lanira, earlier is your involvement in politics, and how much your involvement in politics has shaped the way you see that you lead and do things in K 12 ed. Right? Because that's not as usual combination, because as we very well know, working K-twelve ed as a school site administrator, certainly a network leader, those are pretty consuming jobs. To have that time on the side to do the other things, that's a lot, right? And so I'm wondering, like, what that political side has brought to your leadership in K twelve ed.
Lanira Murphy:Oh, wow. Yeah. I would say two things. The power of voice. There's there's a there's a lot of political tactics that basically amount to suppression.
Lanira Murphy:They want to suppress the voices. They want to suppress the joy. They wanna suppress the community because voices are powerful.
Ron Rapatalo:They are.
Lanira Murphy:Words are powerful. Yeah. And if people are too busy, you know, fighting each other and disagreeing and like, you know, like they that that we don't leverage the community and come together and use our voices to demand change. And so in in the way that I lead, I I try to use my voice. Yeah.
Lanira Murphy:And even if it's uncomfortable, even if I think politically, it's not, you know, like, nope. Nope. I'm here, and this is my job to be the voice that I, you know, I look at some other or like especially in the political room, like, oh, you have this position, this voice, you're not using it to the greater good. So I would say voice, and then I would say the other one, This is sounds political to me. Motivations.
Lanira Murphy:Mhmm. I think understanding people's motives and and like it really is understanding their value sets. Like understanding people's values, you then understand their motivation, and then you know how to lead them.
Ron Rapatalo:Yes.
Lanira Murphy:Because you lead through what is important to them. Like we we're disagreeing on like how to get there, but because I know what motivates you, what's valuable to you, I know how to craft a message, or I know how to speak to you, or I know how to connect you with other people that share that in order for you to, like, really lean into.
Ron Rapatalo:That motivating that storytelling aspect, I find, is something we don't get as taught well in the K12 ed world in terms of, like, leading, right? I think in politics, that is the message is so because that's what gets you elected, right? And the message also starts to inspire people to get behind policies, right? So it's both end, right? I was having this conversation yesterday with a former superintendent who, in typical Ron Rapatalo fashion, I hit her up, you know, with an with an email.
Ron Rapatalo:She's part of a, like, a list where, you know, using business intelligence inside my company, like, reach out to people. And so she said, yeah, I would love to chat with you. I'm like, Score, this is pretty cool to like talk to someone who's been a pretty successful superintendent. So she talked about how much the power of storytelling was how she was able to lead so well across systems. Right?
Ron Rapatalo:And to hear that from someone who's been, you know, at like a one of the biggest heights of like, you know, leading, you know, a pretty large urban school district, right? And hearing what you and I are talking about, right? I find that in professional development that's done in K12 Ed, I don't often hear storytelling. It might be talked about in different ways, but it might be talked about in comps, but not times in a way of being able to, like, create a narrative to move people. Like, if I if I tie together, like, competencies is when I put my nerdy new leaders aspiring principals cap on remembering our 10 selection criteria, which was then ball to six, right?
Ron Rapatalo:It's a little combination of, like, adult leadership and interpersonal skills, right, and comps, right? And being able to combine those things, because at the end of it all, if you think about the history of humanity, we remember stories.
Lanira Murphy:Yes, we
Ron Rapatalo:remember We remember all all the just and and I think we often I don't even wanna say, once again, it's not a forgotten thing. We're just not taught to utilize it in said And yet, surprise, surprise, the most effective leaders like you, many others that you and I rock with, they're incredible storytellers.
Lanira Murphy:Storytellers. Yeah.
Ron Rapatalo:Right? Folks that like, if you put them in front of a mic to do karaoke, they've rocked the mic. If you put them in front of the mic to do, you know, some spoken word, right? One of the things I don't know if you had the chance to do this at ASU + GSV. So every year they do throughout the conference circuit, shout out to the folks at Big Picture Learning and Lois and Song Sam and many of the other great people that had Big Picture Learning, but Leadership Journeys.
Ron Rapatalo:Put all these great leaders on the mic and they share their story and it's like, man, we don't hear this enough. Like, one that you and I are talking, like, Leadership Journeys has a has a flavor of that for sure. And like, you know, people really being vulnerable about, like, their story and how they got to where they are. Yeah. Because like when people hear that, there's a humanizing aspect like, oh, we've all gone through some shit.
Ron Rapatalo:And it's what we are learning from those things and not letting the shit hold us down. But you can't. Shit's gonna happen. It is tough. But what do you do to to learn from it and take that to be able to find that joy?
Ron Rapatalo:Because if you don't find the joy, the joy's not gonna hit you in the face.
Lanira Murphy:Yeah. It's not, right? The joy's not gonna chase after you. Yeah. No.
Ron Rapatalo:No. Not at all. Oh my gosh.
Lanira Murphy:And, you know, I think that yeah. So, you know, historically, as humans, like, we're from an oral history. That's how we used to pass things down. And I think that in the realm of storytelling, like, those are the things that you remember. Some of the, like, the strongest, like, PDs I've, like, experienced is, like, oh, wow.
Lanira Murphy:I remember, like, how they, like, said this. And I even try to, like, copy the way they said it because, like, it was so powerful. It was so engaging. And the one thing that I find even the most the most convincing is I'll talk to people I haven't seen in, like, ten years or twelve years, or I'll see old students, and they'll tell me, oh my gosh, the story I used to I used to tell my kids mom stories. That was the reward.
Lanira Murphy:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm just like, that was the reward. Let me tell you stories about my mom and me growing up.
Ron Rapatalo:Oh, that's awesome.
Lanira Murphy:And they'll come back they'll come to me now, like, 10:12 years, oh my gosh. I remember that story about your mom. How's your mom doing? Or, oh my goodness.
Speaker 3:I told my kid. You know what
Lanira Murphy:I mean? And, like, how stories stay with people and how they glean what they need to glean out of out of those stories.
Ron Rapatalo:Because when you're willing to share that part of yourself, there's a vulnerability there to share a sacred story about your your parent. Right? It's for me, like, sharing stories about my mother and my father, even though it's often in a little bit of, like, a joking manner. Right? Like, I'm sounding a little bit like Jo Koy, like, imitating his mom, right?
Ron Rapatalo:And then, like, I'm like, my mom wasn't always shouting, by the way. Now, granted, I deserved a lot of it because there's this I don't even know exactly what its English equivalent is, but it's one of my favorite Tagalog words to use. It's called burrara. It sounds exactly as you think it would be. It's like, Like, burrara is like, you're just all over the place, like messy.
Ron Rapatalo:And so, like, I had my share of growing up. So my mom would be like, are you listening? Like, what? Was like, oh god. No wonder my mom was shouting me.
Ron Rapatalo:Was so Lord. Because after a while it's like Ronald, are you gonna do this? Ronald, you're gonna do this? Ronald! I'm like, okay, here we go.
Ron Rapatalo:There's levels, I always imitate the highest level of Ronald.
Lanira Murphy:The highest level, yeah.
Ron Rapatalo:Other things that my mom did to get my attention, so holy goodness. So Lanira, I mean, have you let me let me put you on the spot. Have you thought about what it is you want to be doing in K-twelve ed beyond your current role? Like, what do you aspire if you see yourself, you know, like, living the the biggest, like, leadership dream that you can have in K12 Ed or politics? What would that be?
Lanira Murphy:Oh my gosh. You're just wow. You're so good at this.
Speaker 4:Who me?
Ron Rapatalo:You know, this is asking a little it's like some baba wawa, you know, interviews from back in the day.
Lanira Murphy:And I I say, like, the gift of sight is not one of them. And I I as I, like, even reflect on my my life before, I never saw myself places. I never I like I'm I'm very present minded. I'm just like, this is what I'm doing today. I wanna make sure people are being seen.
Lanira Murphy:I wanna make sure I'm doing this. And I I I struggle with like, what's next? What do I want ultimately? Think, you know, I'm on the journey and wherever wherever the journey leads, wanna stay open. So because when I when I get focused in, whew, I'm like, did it.
Lanira Murphy:I'm like, I'm I'm home again, and so then I miss things around me. And so I think, yeah, I try to stay open and and go on the journey.
Ron Rapatalo:Yeah. Something I'm going through right now, and shout out to one of my recent Ronderings podcast guests, Shawna Wells,
Lanira Murphy:who Oh, yeah?
Ron Rapatalo:Do you know Shawna? Shawna's in me. I Yeah. One of my favorite favorite people. Her episode at the time of this recording literally dropped this past week.
Ron Rapatalo:Oh. And she runs Seventh Gen Legacy, and one of the professional developments that her company leads is called Legacy Switch. So I'm going through Legacy Switch right now. And so the food for thought I would have for you, Lanira, and anybody else listening, look, I don't get no commission for this. I believe this is just really good to see.
Ron Rapatalo:Look at that. Brad Stilberg, you wanna send me a free book? I ain't gonna say nothing. I mean, it's 50 I spent $50.
Speaker 3:You know
Ron Rapatalo:what I'm saying? Come on. Grab $50 in my pocket. But going through creating what my legacy is gonna be in her you know, the way that she and her company talk about it of creating your legacy seven generations from now, this idea of being a generationist and creating that so seven generations from now, what impact this felt. Right?
Ron Rapatalo:It forces me as someone like you who admittedly is very present focused too. I had that same thing. I think that has a lot of incredible benefits, but also has some slight downsides admittedly, right? But putting going through that reflection process has allowed me to think I now have this legacy statement that's like a daily appointment and like daily all day appointment in my calendar that I just see. And I read on occasion.
Ron Rapatalo:It just helps me motivate. But then you gotta turn that into action. Right? It's not enough just to write these things down. It's just like, are the small little steps and habits that I can start building to get me closer to that?
Ron Rapatalo:And I have to say, in doing it so far, just the manifestation, the energy, the joy of it has started to attract more in my life. It had and I I don't this is a palpable difference. And one might say, that's just timing, Rapatalo. Maybe there's nothing to do with hockey. Sweat.
Ron Rapatalo:Just lucky. Right?
Speaker 4:It's like, what are these impressions coming from?
Ron Rapatalo:I could booby doo doo. I mean, I don't have a lot of I could do Scooby Doo and my mom and, like, some amorphous sounding, like, white guy. That's that's really I don't there's not a lot of really good impressions I
Lanira Murphy:can do. If I try
Ron Rapatalo:other ones, it's like, Ron, your Jamaican impression sounds like your mom trying to do Jamaican.
Lanira Murphy:I don't know. Don't do it. Don't do it.
Speaker 4:I'm like, I won't.
Ron Rapatalo:Oh gosh. But that's what I wanted to, like, share with you in terms like,
Speaker 4:you know, it could
Ron Rapatalo:be that, like, thinking about legacy will help someone very present focused to be able to start having the alchemy to, like, letting your present focus see what's right in front of your face to then be able to captivate an opportunity. Because that's how I see what I'm
Lanira Murphy:doing Thank right you for sharing that.
Ron Rapatalo:Yeah. Absolutely. That's that's where my ADHD mind goes. Well, now seems like a good point, Lanira, to ask you the Ronderings question. What's your Ronderings?
Ron Rapatalo:What's the lesson or value you want to share with the audience today?
Lanira Murphy:I'll make sure that I don't butcher it. One of the the the I don't know if, like, quotes or, like, sayings that I say to myself, constantly is our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
Ron Rapatalo:Marianne Williamson. Right? Yes. God bless. And quotes too.
Ron Rapatalo:Mhmm.
Lanira Murphy:That just, like, I people underestimate the power that we have as individuals, as people in a community, as people living life and going day by day. Like, I think that we've been powers that be tried to convince us that we're powerless. And things are just gonna happen. If you don't like those things, too bad because they're coming. And if we don't like that we're rewriting the social contract right now,
Speaker 3:you know, be quiet. It's because it's coming.
Ron Rapatalo:Yep.
Lanira Murphy:And, no, we we are powerful. All that why do you
Speaker 3:think they're spending gajillions of dollars to convince us otherwise?
Lanira Murphy:We are extremely powerful creatures individually, but mostly in community and with each other.
Ron Rapatalo:That's right.
Speaker 4:And so,
Lanira Murphy:my my wondering is like, especially for our youth and especially for our kids, like, how do we, like, really get them to understand that power? And and even in their age, like, I I think that there is a lot of dismissiveness of young voices not being power. I was like, have you not looked at, like, history in America? Like, the most powerful movements have been spoken, like, has sprung from our youth. And so, yeah, yeah, just how do I continue to lean into my power?
Lanira Murphy:How do I convince others? How do I get them to really feel and like embrace and get into that power? And how do we use our collective power to, you know, combat the things that we we don't like and to get the things that we want.
Ron Rapatalo:Yeah. And I would say that I I think what allows you to feel your particular power, Lanira, and mine, and I think many others, is being able to do these things with joy. Look, doing these things is hard. To feel the power is hard. Like, you use the analogies in science fiction and movies, right?
Ron Rapatalo:You know, when you're holding, you know, the force and the lightsaber, That power can feel overwhelming. You don't feel worthy of it. Right? And in fact, once Luke felt worthy of it and got I mean, let me not go into my horse, Star Wars, because I can't like, Oh my God, he really is a nerd. And like, yeah, a little bit, a little bit nerdy.
Lanira Murphy:But
Ron Rapatalo:that's what allows you to like, able to embrace your power. Right. And does it have values that are coming from like joy and generosity rather than falling to the dark side,
Lanira Murphy:you know?
Ron Rapatalo:Mhmm. Anger of the moan. You know what I'm saying? Like, that shit'll that shit'll fuck up your power and how you use it. Just does.
Lanira Murphy:Yep.
Ron Rapatalo:Right? You're coming from that place of, like, deep in here. Mhmm. There's no telling what we can change. Right?
Lanira Murphy:Yeah. Getting comfortable with yourself. I know that age and time has something to do with that too, or at least in my journey it has. But, oh, man, being comfortable in who I am,
Speaker 3:the wonder that the doors that have opened,
Lanira Murphy:I'm like, oh, man. Like, I you know what? That's something that's interesting, especially in my leadership journey, because I'm joyful And and people read that as, like, different ways, mostly, like, ditzy and where I'm not smart. They also struggle that I am very comfortable in who I am. And so, oh, I can't just push you around or, oh, I can't just get you to do
Speaker 3:things that you don't wanna do? Oh, no, ma'am. Lanira turns to any things he doesn't wanna do. I
Ron Rapatalo:have to say, Lanira, I think that was who you and I have in common, right? I'm gonna use it with how I think about this protective part of my persona, which I like to call Brooklyn Ron. And so the way that I would like typify Brooklyn Ron is if someone if I feel challenged with anything that feels like, I think Ron's a punk, I can get over on him. Watch this. I ain't no punk.
Ron Rapatalo:Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, that just it, like, sets me off. Like, it's, like, in this irrational, like, I I, like, bug out. I'm like, you think you mean me being nice and you it means that I'm some punk.
Ron Rapatalo:I will meet the. I don't play.
Lanira Murphy:Where I'm from? Yeah, you know, what?
Speaker 4:Put it'd be
Ron Rapatalo:like, I'm easy, easy tiger. I'm like,
Lanira Murphy:woah, woah, woah, But
Ron Rapatalo:I often think like folks often think nice people like you and I are like, I'm like, you know, you know, who's also nice when he like, Manny Pac, like, oh,
Speaker 4:I want to fight and I'm
Ron Rapatalo:going to be and like,
Speaker 4:Manny was a bit And then he will
Lanira Murphy:knock you out? Asked. Yeah. And I I think that people are used to interacting with people who don't know who they are. So that's what they're used to.
Lanira Murphy:But I'm like, woah, woah, woah. Like, I love dresses. It's this other woman in me. Like Yeah. I told them, I like, don't let the huge dresses fool you, okay?
Lanira Murphy:Yeah. Like, we're like, yeah. So being being comfortable in me, yeah, gives incredible freedom.
Ron Rapatalo:I love that, Lanira. So how do people find you? What would you like to promote?
Lanira Murphy:So this this also goes into the me being extremely personal. You can find me on LinkedIn. Okay. Lanira Murfy. My name is quite unique.
Ron Rapatalo:Okay. I think I'm
Lanira Murphy:the only one up there. And yeah, that's where you can find me. You can also reach out to me. I'm always that's another thing I would say, like sharing resources and sharing what's working and like, oh, open book. You want anything?
Lanira Murphy:If I have it, it's yours. So, you can also reach out to me through, yeah, through LinkedIn and that would be the best one.
Ron Rapatalo:I a thousand percent even more understand why David asked me to meet you at ASU and why he said you need to be on Ronderings because I think we share just a lot of like life similarities, but also values. Right? The value of joy, the value of being generous, right? The value of like open book. Like, know, I think our stories are compelling and if someone can learn something from that story, then so much the better, right?
Ron Rapatalo:You don't go through the shit that you and I went through like, no, if you can do hey, come on now.
Lanira Murphy:Yeah, we're here to help each other.
Ron Rapatalo:Awesome. Well Lanira, I end the Ronderings podcast using a quote from one of my favorite sports heroes. I mean, could be a Nick, but it's not a Nick at this point, right? I I do love the Knicks. Let me just be But clear, I end with Neon Dion Sanders always saying and saying to me in my head, he's saying to me that we always come hot with guests like Lanira Murfy on Ronderings.
Ron Rapatalo:Peace, y'all. Thanks, Lanira, for being a part of Ronderings. One piece of advice that Lanira received from a professor who assisted on writing her recommendation letter is sitting with me. Always give people the opportunity to participate in your life. It's such a simple idea, but it speaks to mentorship, community, vulnerability, the reality that none of us accomplish anything alone.
Ron Rapatalo:I also love Lanira's reminder that joy is not a weakness. In a world that often confuses seriousness with effectiveness, she shows us that authenticity, playfulness, and deep purpose can absolutely coexist. And, of course, her Ronderings from Marianne Williamson's famous quote reminds that our greatest challenge isn't inadequacy. It recognizes the power we already possess, choosing to use it for good. Lanira, thank you for sharing your story, your wisdom, and your joy with us.
Ron Rapatalo:To all of you listening, thank you for spending part of your day with us. The next time, keep leading, keep learning, and keep Ronderings. Peace. Thank you for listening to today's Ronderings. I enjoyed hanging out with me and my guests, and I hope you leave with something worth chewing on.
Ron Rapatalo:If it made you smile, think, or even roll your eyes in a good way, pass it along to someone else. I'm Ron Rapatalo, until next time, keep rondering, keep laughing, and keep becoming. Podcaststhatmatter.org.
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